ANOTHER OWN GOAL FOR THE CRAZIES

Mike Witchell, columnist - 27 May 2005

A Level playing field. That's what the property companies always say they are looking for in prospective new development sites, so they must have been drooling at the bottom line when the Swans at long last quit Vetch Field.

But if they thought their goal of making a quick buck was within easy reach, they had reckoned without Swansea Council.

Far from unveiling a stunning new regeneration project for the old ground even as the roars died away after the very last match against Wrexham, instead there was a deafening silence from the crackpot coalition which runs the council cabinet, a silence every bit as deafening as those that used to follow an own goal of an altogether different stripe.

It was only this week - nearly three weeks later (who said time was money?) - that we were shocked to learn that there is nothing on the drawing board for the Vetch, let alone the masterplan we had been so eagerly anticipating from the visionaries who dreamed up the set for Carry on Slip Bridge.

No matter. Community-conscious as ever, the Worlds Apart Trust has commissioned top urban regeneration gurus fagpacketdesigns.com to create some exciting new concepts to give council leader Chris Holley and his buddies a helping hand.

This is what they came up with:

Vetch Field Urban Village
A unique new approach to 24-hour living in the 21st Century, the village comprises terraced homes - what else? - on four sides of an outdoor amenity area, or village green, which comes complete its very own Skylight security lighting system. Pity someone's stolen all the grass! Choose from a hat-trick of exclusive new house designs: the "Kenny Jackett" starter home, the "John Toshack" pre-fab - quick to put up, quick to come down - and the "Tony Petty" house of marked cards in the landmark East Tower with its New York-style loft apartments. With the Trundle's Head - er, sorry, Feet - the Trundle's Feet pub as the centrepiece of village life, it has to be a surefire winner.

V-Wing
Controversial it may be, but prisons are profit these days! And with a mass of new laws to defend our civil liberties - not to mention compulsory ID cards - promised by Tony Blair's newest of New Labour Governments, the notion of a larger penitentiary can hardly be a hard sell, except for the jailbirds, of course. Better still, it could push forward gender equality with one for the girls, as it were: Wales's first-ever women's prison. Another first for Swansea!

Parc Vetch
Still saddened by the demise of Castle Gardens? Then Parc Vetch is for you! Laid out along classical lines, with stands of trees and terraced gardens leading down to the evocative Cyril the Swan Lake overlooked by a piece of Swansea City heritage - the carefully conserved Harry Griffiths tea rooms from underneath the old Centre Stand - Parc Vetch would provide a green lung for our increasingly congested city. In your dreams.

Vetch Field Square
Now this is more like it, as well as being the cheapest of the various options. Building on the stunning success of the Castle Square makeover in the city centre, the square would be another eye-catching example of concrete art within a built environment. Simply demolish the stands, re-cement the terraces, add a couple of seats and a few planters - plus the world's most feeble fountain in the old centre circle - and there you are!And there we are. Unless, of course, the Crazy Gang decide to move the goalposts.

Did I hear someone say Asda?

SLIP BRIDGE IN PAINT JOB FOR MOVE TO PATH

SIAN DAVID - 20 May 2005

The first phase of work to restore Swansea's landmark Slip Bridge will begin this weekend. The bridge will be repaired, cleaned and painted before it is transferred to its new home along the seafront.

The work is expected to take six weeks to complete.It will be the final chapter in a saga that has been continuing for almost 18 months.

The landmark bridge spanned Oystermouth Road for almost 100 years, but was removed to the Recreation Ground in Mumbles Road over a year ago, following concerns over the condition of its structure in December 2003.

Pieces of the bridge were falling on to passing traffic below.The move aroused strong feeling among residents on whether it should be saved or scrapped.

A £35,000 public consultation on what to do with the landmark failed to reach a consensus.It was decided last month to relocate the landmark to the foreshore cyclepath, opposite the Recreation Ground where it currently stands.

Anthony O'Sullivan, head of transportation and engineering for Swansea Council, said today: "We have recently appointed specialist bridge contractors who will undertake a number of jobs."Work will include steel repairs, cleaning and painting to ensure the bridge is restored, bringing the structure back to life."

A secure compound will be built around the bridge while the work is being carried out, which means that some car parking spaces at the Recreation Ground will be temporarily lost.

The council has advised drivers to use parking facilities at the university, County Hall or the city centre while the work is carried out.

John Hague, cabinet member for the environment, said: "This is an exciting project which will give the bridge a new lease of life.

"It will remain a prominent and striking feature of Swansea Bay.

"The bridge will be preserved for walkers and cyclists and will also be used by the popular land train as part of its extended route."

SHORELINE COMES FIRST

12 May 2005

The Post has published many letters from readers both for and against the retention of the Slip Bridge. Your Opinion column has contained some very valid material over the past months. I have no idea why it took Swansea Council so long to make a decision as to the outcome. Possibly they had to read the tarot cards, or cast the runes a number of times. Perhaps they are still waiting for a reply from Madame Blavatsky!

The report from Jonathan Isaacs on Friday April 29, on the bridge saga, really says it all. The splendid cycle path should not be destroyed by installing the bridge anywhere near it.

At the same time, dispense with the two towers that supported the bridge, and open up the wonderful shoreline Swansea is so fortunate to have.

Roy Edmonds
Silver Close
West Cross, Swansea

SLIP UP OVER RAIL BRIDGE

06 May 2005

In March last year, engineers declared the Slip Bridge unsafe. It was caged off and banned from public use. Yet the council's proposal (Post, April 26) to relocate the bridge along the promenade is to allow pedestrians, cyclists, and the land train to pass through the span, is an accident waiting to happen.

The council also intends to plant trees along the side of the span, and refurbish it with paint.

Is the planting of trees to hide the bridge because of their infantile idea, or will they allow contractors to coat it with invisible paint, so their big embarrassment won't be seen at all?

Any persons wishing to protest against this fiasco can obtain a complaints card from the reception desk at County Hall or the Guildhall.

Or, if they wish, can contact the Local Government Ombudsman on 01656 641150.

E Ford
Middle Road
Gendros
Swansea

SLIPPERY SLOPE OF FIASCOES

Columnist - 04 May 2005

It is a curious fact of local life that here in Swansea we never seem to get anything right. There is a terrible, crushing inevitability about the catalogue of errors that have plagued the city in recent years, from the political hokey-cokey which surrounded the closure of the leisure centre and the "will-they-won't they" saga which led up to an eventual (and costly) reprieve right through to the Slip Bridge fiasco, the irretrievable loss of David Evans which has since been transformed into a pound shop, and even the state of the central bus station, a place so unimaginably horrific that some people wait for a bus from inside the doorway of Debenhams.

And now we are told that a sloping playground at Swansea's showpiece £3.5 million Sketty Primary School (above) has been deemed unsafe because children have been falling down and hurting themselves on it.

The local education authority says that the closure of the playground is "not an embarrassment". No? Well, let me tell you, speaking as an expert to whom embarrassments of one sort or another are a daily occurrence, I have to say it seems pretty embarrassing to me.

Playgrounds, of course, are subject to health and safety guidelines just like everything else but this seems like a classic example of bureaucracy which has not only gone mad but is running around gibbering in its pyjamas with a pair of underpants on its head.

When I was a pupil at Mayhill Junior School (since when it has been ludicrously renamed Seaview Community School) I remember breaking through a sizeable gap in the railings in order to scramble about in the old bomb craters that were scattered on the grassy hillside sloping away from the building.

Now that was what I call a slope.

Try running down that hillside and the chances were you would not stop until you hit the wall of Dyfatty Flats.

And anyway, if health and safety is such a big priority, would someone please mind explaining to me why the council seem to think it is perfectly fine to place a hugely incongruous and potentially dangerous climbing frame on the promenade near the Cenotaph?

I refer of course to the metal span of the Slip Bridge, which - mark my words - will be attracting not only children and youths but drunken daredevils, vandals and graffiti artists when it is finally put in place on the promenade.

And what of the stone abutments which still stand on either side of Oystermouth Road without the metal span which once bridged the gap?

They are to become a new home for a kiosk and toilet facilities, with viewing platforms placed at the top.Hang on a minute - viewing platforms at the top? If replacing the span in its original position was supposedly flying in the face of new legislation regarding access for the disabled, then surely the same argument applies to the proposed viewing platforms which could only be reached by ascending the stone steps.

Unless, of course, those who are physically disadvantaged, elderly or otherwise unable to negotiate the climb would be expected to levitate to the uppermost level like the all-new "flying Dalek" in Doctor Who?

Back to the drawing board, folks - but try not to poke yourself in the eye with your pen or give yourself a paper cut: given the scope of today's health and safety laws, the consequences could be very costly indeed.